


Just A Better Place To Die

by blinkbackbones



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 02:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkbackbones/pseuds/blinkbackbones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"See, the thing is, Patrick thinks he’s not good enough. And that’s where it stings."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Better Place To Die

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wonderfullybland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderfullybland/gifts).



> so me and my lovely adorable Spencey were having a music meltdown and reading sad things about Patrick Stump and then Pete Wentz's old Livejournal entries and this fell out of my hands I guess? I have never written peterick and I've read exactly 1 peterick fic, so if this is way out of character then yIKES SORRY don't be too hard on me pls because I just really like writing angst okay. plus spence likes it so whatever eff tha polees

See, the thing is, Patrick thinks he’s not good enough _._ And that’s where it stings. When the clouds gather in those summer-sky eyes and little pieces of him seem to disappear, when he shrinks like hearing all this criticism is causing him physical pain, that’s what twists around Pete’s heart – like rope, like an overused noose, like all the beat up, frayed and battered clichés he is; because he _knows_ it’s not true. He could argue that it’s all he really knows for certain.

 

He just wants Patrick to see it, that’s all. Pete wants Patrick to borrow his eyes before he looks in the mirror, just so he can finally see the most incredible person in the world. Patrick only seems to see the criticisms like they’re tattooed on his skin and all the things he wishes he wasn’t, without realising that without those things, he wouldn’t be the person Pete loves. Patrick will never believe him when Pete tells him that, and Pete wishes kisses counted as words because for all the fucking lyrics he can scrawl about sex and heartbreak and being three bad days from ending everything, he just can’t summon the right ones for what Patrick means to him. Maybe he’s good with words, but his words only mean anything when they’re coming from Patrick’s mouth. He never even liked his own name that much until Patrick moaned it into his mouth that night right after a show, ragged and breathless and _desperate_ – and nothing, not all the perfect metaphors in the world, not all those fantastic notes Patrick could hit, could match it. He wishes his words didn’t sound so clumsy in his own mouth, wishes he could just _tell_ him – but it’s never the same, so he’d kissed him over and over instead and hoped that sufficed, because _I love you too_ just felt too weak on his tongue.

 

He never used to get what people meant when they said other people completed them; it seemed so surreal, so clichéd. But then there was Patrick, and now – now he’s pretty sure he knows. When the world gets too heavy for them both – because it does, it really does – they curl into each other’s cracks and jagged lines and just for a moment, they feel whole, and Pete doesn’t feel like a collection of fragments and splinters as much as he used to. Really, if anyone, it’s _Pete_ that’s not good enough. Pete doesn’t deserve Patrick. Pete, well, he’s just a fucking mess, right? He’s a hurricane that’s too close the shore, needing to die and wanting to live because a world with Patrick in it is a world that’s too good to leave behind, but a world where Patrick’s kissed him a hundred times and told Pete he loves him is a world too good for him. But here he is, and a little big part of him is glad, because if it means he can catch Patrick smiling at him across the stage or have Patrick curled in his lap on the tour bus – if he can just have Patrick and his music and his band – he can justify staying. And that’s enough.  


End file.
